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Somewhere in your house..

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Writers Jam 2024 Submission - "Not All He Seemed"

Posted by GamerBroMX - 1 month ago

My story submission for the 2024 Writers Jam. I choose the prompt Defiance.

It was the dead of night. Down the alleyway full of litter and grime stood a figure leaning against the brick walls among the shadows. It was the newest addition to the crime underworld, Danny. He patiently waits for the perfect opportunity to arise to fulfill his task. He was to do a stickup of the Liquor Store that was down the way. Danny’s mentor, the infamous head honcho in town, Quickdraw Rad instructed him to rob the place and obtain all the cash he could before authorities were alerted. The reasoning for his absence is due to a gathering he agreed to partake in with one of his associates. He also saw it as a window for Danny to prove himself by accomplishing a job on his own. 

After moments of contemplation, Danny felt it was time to strike. He pulls up his black bandana to conceal his face, pistol at the ready. Only a couple steps in and suddenly a disturbance was heard at the other end of the pathway. Danny halts in his tracks to mark what caused the loud sound. The shout of an “EEEYEAH!” echoed in the narrow space. A knife was thrown towards Danny’s direction. Ricocheting off the wall, missing its intended target. Danny reacts by taking cover behind a dumpster. He peeked slightly to spot the assistant but It was too dark to make out anything due to the trash and other obstacles. He is able to make out a faint glimpse of a silhouette running towards his direction, ready to fire his handgun in retaliation. However, Danny realizes that a gun would cause too much commotion. The exact opposite of what he tried accomplishing in the first place. He looks around for any blunt objects that can potentially knock out an attacker. The only thing that was around was an old desk fan. Close enough he figured. The anonymous figure loomed at the front of the dumpster. Slowly approaching Danny’s position. After a split second of turning the corner of the dumpster, Danny strikes the figure with the fan across the face. Knocking them down, then being held at gunpoint whilst on the ground. After closer inspection, Danny recognizes the aggressor. 

“You again?!” Danny said surprised.

It was the girl he encountered before. Danny and his friend Brenden had a few run-ins with her a while back. Before she was able to escape, but now Danny was able to restrain her. There was no running away this time.

“You didn’t have to be so rough!” The girl exclaimed while a small amount of blood dripped out her nose. 

“You threw a dang knife at me.” Danny replied.

“It was dull!” She said back.

Danny didn’t believe that for a second. He kept his gun pointed at her. He seeks to finally find answers after being illusive for so long.

“Who are you and why do you keep following us?” Danny asked sternly.

She was reluctant to give clear answers. Only asking that she be let free. Danny was losing his patience. 

“You’re not going anywhere until you tell me why you keep fighting us and getting in our way.” 

“It’s because both of you replaced me!” She said after being pressured enough.

“Replaced you?” Danny replied with confusion.

She goes on to explain how she was left behind when a job went bad. Revealing that she too was once under the apprenticeship of Rad. It was him who made the false promise to return for her eventually. Now it was clear as day that Rad never intended the rescue. Downright rejecting her need for aid to instead find new helpers who could potentially suffer the same fate down the line. Up until now, Danny only had negligible doubts about Quickdraw Rad. Thoughts occasionally creeped into his psyche questioning Rad’s frequent absences. While reaping most of the reward afterwards. These thoughts were always ignored as Danny was blinded. He looked up to Rad fondly. If the girl’s testimony was true, these thoughts are now nothing but the truth. He couldn’t fully accept this disclosure. Despite this, he was willing to investigate the matter further. Decided not to rob the liquor store in favor of confronting Rad directly about the situation. Hoping there was a chance all this can be explained. He agreed on letting the girl come along, only if she promises not to stab Danny in the back on the way. On top of all this, he finally learned her name. Her name was Jesse. 

The pair approach the gang hangout. It was a sketchy looking sooty apartment building. They were a good distance away from the entrance that was guarded by two guys. Danny stopped going any further. Before going in he tells Jesse that he thinks it’s best that she stays behind outside away from sight. She grudged the decision but the pair came to an agreement she could storm in once sign of trouble brewed. Danny walks up to the patchy door. 

“Where ya think you’re going lil’ dude?” Said one of the guards.

“It’s Danny. I’m with Rad.” He replied.

“Yo, you the Baby G with the country man? You tight, go on.” The guard said. 

He opens the door allowing Danny to come in. He walks down the hallway and draws near the far end. There was the entrance to a large room. His best friend Brenden was waiting outside. He asked Danny if he was okay after the supposed Robbery. Danny told him that he didn’t go through with it and explained his encounter with Jesse. Brenden didn’t quite know what to do with all this sudden new information. Danny goes on to inform him that he’s gonna have a chat with Rad upfront. Brenden goes with him inside the room. The duo go inside and they see Rad having a conversion with the ganglord Travis. Danny never liked him. He was always high and a real ass to be around. However, he was street smart and knew how to make money. Often requiring Rad’s assistance. Danny walked up to the pair while Brenden stayed back off to the side. 

“There you are, boy. We was waiting for you to head on back here.” Rad said.

“Now give ol’ Travis here the cash you legally acquired. Saving yourself ten dollars of course.” 

Danny realized at that moment that Jesse was right. Rad once again expected him to do a risky job and take a majority of the prize without any direct assistance from himself. Now this time he has to give it up to Travis of all people? The line was drawn when Rad possibly abandoned another youngster, but this sealed the deal. Jesse’s story may be true after all. 

“About that sir… I didn’t get the money.” Danny confessed.

Rad chuckled with a hint of discontent. “Then what the hell are ya here for, boy? Get your ass back out there and don’t screw up this time.”

“Before I do that, sir. I need you to tell me something. Who is Jesse?” Danny questioned.

Rad’s head jumped a little when he heard her name. “Jesse? I don’t know any Jesses, son. Now stop fooling around and get back out there.” Rad said, completely brushing off Danny’s question.

“I’m not doing anything until you tell me who Jesse is and why you left her.” Danny said back to him loudly.

“You better start pulling in your horns boy…” Rad said as a threat.

“Yo, Roadster, is this lil’ dude gon’ be a problem?” Travis asked Rad as the situation heats up.

Danny continues to speak out. “You really did abandon her, didn’t you? You left when she needed you the most!” 

“Don’t let her silver tongue get to you, son. She’s a no-good flannel-mouthed liar.” Rad claimed. 

“So you do know her! What’s next? You’re gonna leave us too? Leave me behind?” Danny said with a fiery voice. 

“It’s bout’ time you shut the fuck up.” Travis says while gesturing to one of the guards in the room to apprehend Danny.

Danny wasn’t going to back down. He pulls out his handgun and aims it at the guard. 

“Hey! Chill! Chill!” The guard says while raising his hands up, slowly backing off.

Danny keeps his gun drawn, maintaining his distance so no one tries to jump him. Brenden was shocked at what just occurred. He stayed in place not knowing what to do. 

“Yo! You better out that tool away bruh! We don’t mess around!” Travis shouted.

“Travis shut it!” Rad yelled out. “Now boy, you better knock this shit out right now. Put that gun down and we can all just-”

Rad’s sentence was interrupted by a knife being thrown at one of the guards in the leg. It was Jesse. She snuck in and created an ambush. Danny saw his chance to escape. He poked shots at the other guards, forcing them to take cover. He tried to get to Brenden but he was quickly surrounded and was taken away. Danny felt he had no choice but to book it out the door. 

“Ayo fellas! We got an opp in here! Block the damn doors!” Travis commanded while exiting out a different door, gun at hand..

Danny went back the way he came down the hallway. The door he originally came through was heavily guarded. He had to sneak out a different way. He navigated the other way. Perhaps there was a back door. Avoiding any of the gangsters that were searching for him. After some time he found an exit that wasn’t guarded. He made a run for it. Just as he was about to make it out, he got jumped by Travis. 

“Where the fuck ya’ think you goin’ cuh?!” Travis said while holding Danny in a headlock. 

Danny tried kicking him to get out but it was no use. As a last resort he managed to bite down on Travis’ arm causing him to cry out in pain, letting him go. Danny races to grab his gun off the floor. Travis pulled up his shirt to grab his 9mm tucked in his pants, but Danny had the upper hand. He shoots Travis six times in the chest. He drops with blood pouring everywhere. Danny was shook at what he had to do but now was not the time to contemplate. He rushes out the door and runs down the street as fast as he can. He escaped. Unfortunately leaving Brenden and Jesse behind. 

Rad caught up at the door Danny escaped from. He finds Travis’ body on the floor no longer moving or breathing. He didn’t feel much remouse and was more upset that Danny got away. He goes back to the meeting room to find Travis’ second-in-command Wyatt observing what just occurred. 

“What the fuck happened here?” Wyatt questioned Rad.

“Let’s just say my greenhorn has gone rogue.” Rad answered.

Wyatt signals some men to come over. It was Brenden and Jesse being held captive.

“We caught these two brats while shit was going down. You know them?” Wyatt asked.

“Oh I know them just fine. They are a bunch of traitors.” Rad said.

Wyatt asked him what they should do with the pair. Rad chose to keep them himself. He plans on taking them to his hideout that was on the outskirts of town. He knew it was only a matter of time until Danny would be lured back to him. 




Nice work! Thanks for participating. This was a fun way to take the defiance prompt and it's good to see that inspiration through the entire story. I like how you have Danny stand up for someone who was once in his shoes (more or less) and I like how you give the characters distinct personalities from eachother! That being said, I think some of the choices felt a little forced. I liked Travis having a different dialect from the other characters, but some choices felt a little out of place or unrealistic compared to how other characters spoke, but I still think it was definitely worth having him speak differently! Overall I think you made some solid choices and I appreciate your participation a lot, and I look forward to seeing what you do in the future!